


The Truth

by Loser_Angel_666



Series: Bisexual Dean Winchester [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Comfortably Bisexual Dean Winchester, M/M, brief internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loser_Angel_666/pseuds/Loser_Angel_666
Summary: “I’m bisexual.” He said to his mirror around his toothbrush. He nodded, grinning, and finished brushing his teeth feeling just a little more free.***Dean comes to terms with his sexuality and he finally lets himself be honest about his feelings for Cas
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Bisexual Dean Winchester [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054808
Comments: 2
Kudos: 102





	The Truth

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do a fic about Dean's relationship with his sexuality, I don't think I included everything i wanted to, but this is as good as I can get it rn and I'm still pretty happy with it
> 
> I'm also bisexual and I never realized how much I struggled with that until I realized how much Dean helped me
> 
> expect more fics about dean and being bisexual, hopefully more fluffy ones cuz I want to play around with Dean and being unapologetically bi and making puns and stuff cuz he'd totally do that

It took him far too long to come to terms with his sexuality. Still, he catches himself with a tight grip in his heart, even as he smiles and reminds himself silently that it’s alright. He tells himself he doesn’t reach for Cas’ hand because he fears rejection, not because he fears what it would mean he is. But he knows how Cas feels, even if he doubts himself, even if he isn’t sure he’s right, even if neither of them have ever acknowledged it in full. And he knows what he is, even if he’s never let himself think about it.

Maybe it should have been clear back when he was still a kid, after Lee. But Dean knew his father, and so it was never something he let himself consider for very long. Some things can’t be fixed with a smile and a tip of the hat. Some things can’t be left behind, no matter how long you drive. Some things can’t be forgiven, even once John is six feet under.

John may have died to protect his sons, but that doesn’t mean he’d ever been able to protect them from the horrors of humanity. From the horrors of a father who lost his ability to love and nurture. John took his guilt to the grave, but left behind his children with shame and hatred and fear.

Dean knew what he was, and he buried it deep. The years after John's death were the years he let himself realize it was okay. He wasn’t okay. But it was okay.

Then sparks flying and eyes glowing, electricity humming in the air, Cas tore down nearly every wall Dean had built. Dean doesn’t remember being pulled from hell, but sometimes he wakes up with his shoulder burning, feeling arms around him, solid warmth behind him, secure in the arms of someone who he’d only just begun to trust.

He tried to forget those dreams, because Dean was never supposed to feel this way. He was never supposed to feel comfort from the arms of a dick angel like Cas. It was dangerous. Angels were dangerous. Cas was dangerous. 

He didn’t plan on Castiel becoming one of the most important people in his life, but when it happened, he realized he wasn’t so surprised. Still, he pushed away assumptions, buried possibilities. Ignored his own brain’s speculations.

Then years had passed. Years, and years, and years, and eventually Dean came to realize that he didn’t give much of a shit anymore. He still denied it and he couldn’t force himself to act on it, but he didn’t grimace when someone called him gay. He didn’t get angry when someone assumed he and Cas were together. They did stand uncomfortably close. It was an honest mistake.

Dean doesn’t know what made him crack. He doesn’t even remember exactly when it happened. He knows he was washing his face and brushing his teeth. It was night, he was tired after a day of research. He had a beer or two and Sam was still reading in the library, Cas was off somewhere again. 

He looked up at the mirror and nodded. 

Oh.

I’m bisexual.

It was less of a realization, and more of an acknowledgement. He had known it was there. The confessional during that one case a few months ago should have proven enough that it was on his mind, but the words had never felt right before. It never seemed like something that could ever apply to him. 

He thought he wasn’t allowed to be anything but straight. He wasn’t supposed to be. He needed to be straight because that’s what Dad wanted, what Sam wanted, what he, himself wanted. But he also wasn’t sure he was allowed to belong to a community that was based around love. All Dean does is kill and repress emotions. He didn’t have time to question trivial things like his sexuality. That was fine. It just wasn’t for him… 

“I’m bisexual.” He said to his mirror around his toothbrush. He nodded, grinning, and finished brushing his teeth feeling just a little more free.

He still hesitated with being openly bisexual for a while. He kind of wanted to just… slide out of the closet. He didn’t want to have a conversation, a ‘coming out’. It’s not like it mattered much with the life they live. So Dean didn’t do much about it. 

Eventually, maybe even without him noticing, Dean didn’t stop himself from checking guys out like he did girls. He didn’t hesitate when the barman flirted with him. 

“You know it’s not nice to lead people on, right Dean?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Who says I’m leading him on?” Dean shrugs, Sam splutters for a minute surprised, and then he looks at Dean sternly.

“You can do it later then, we’re working.” 

It’s not long after that that Dean stops with all the hookups and flirting entirely. He hadn’t been doing it as frequently as he used to, so Sam hardly even noticed. But then it was valentine's day and Dean was perfectly content to just have a movie night with Cas.

Things weren’t really all that different. But at the same thing, something big had changed with Dean and everyone could sense it. Things were different with Cas too, if only in the way he responded to Dean’s new found sense of self. They didn’t talk about it though, so Sam had to watch as Dean and Cas skirted around each other, smiling and holding their gazes a little to long and looking away like there was nothing there.

It may have taken him ages, but eventually, Dean was mostly comfortable with his sexuality. He could still remember the guilt of finding a guy attractive. But it became a background thought. He could forget his father and all the pain and fear he caused. 

Now he lets his hand linger on Cas’ shoulder and his back and he rests it on his knee when they’re sitting side by side. He let himself lean in closer to him, and has no shame in kicking Sam into the back so Cas could ride shotgun. Sam would think they were dating if they hadn’t always been close like this. He would’ve thought they finally got their shit together if Dean didn’t look away every time Cas looked up.

During their family movie nights, Dean freely commented on the men and the women, then he rested his arm over the back of the couch and when Cas joined them, sitting under Dean’s arm, he moved in closer, not quite touching Cas, but Sam still shook his head at their ridiculousness. They were hopeless; Cas trying not to breathe the wrong way while Dean wrestled with himself over whether he should just put his arm on Cas’ shoulder or keep it on the couch. 

Dean was okay with himself finally, and when Cas was nearly killed by another angel on a hunt, Dean decided to hell with it, and kissed him. 

He deserved to be happy. He deserved to feel like this. 

Cas kissed him back, and when they were holding hands, walking shoulder to shoulder back to the car, Sam only grinned, making a mental note to tell Dean how proud he is.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!! Comments are very appreciated <3
> 
> Have a nice day/night :)


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